Thank you all, it is good to hear I am not alone. My parents aren't abusive, maybe a little too controlling and manipulative but not abusive. Some of you veiw it as a positive and others as a negative, either way I don't think I have ever used it to cope, I can only remember ever doing it in these specific situations and when I do it is more like a pause button. Afterwards I tend to go to my room to be alone with my thoughts, wich sometimes results in an unintentionally nap. If it is mild disassociation, wich sounds likely, what are some better ways to cope (i don't think therapy is a great solutionfor me, I went once to a groupsession after an almost school shooting and just found myself choosing my words too much? I can't honestly think of any coping mechanisms that I do other than getting lost while performing/practicing my art forms and just being alone with my thoughts. Again, thank you all for your help and kind words.