So, having waited for nearly two years I finally go to the top of the waiting list and stared a course of CBT 8 weeks ago. The therapist is the best therapist O have had (I have previously had a couple of other 8/12 week courses of therapy) and I do feel like she could help me, but I am really struggling because everything feels so overwhelming and I don't even know where to start, yet I only get 20 sessions with her.

I knew at the start that we only get 20 sessions, but it is so hard. It's partly anxiety that there is this huge pressure on me to make progress quickly because otherwise I'll just be left at the end feeling worse and with no other support (as has happened before) but at the moment I fell like I am not making any progress,, and every session things come up that she says we will go back to/work on later and that it's ok to make very slow progress, but the whole time I just feel like there is this big clock ticking away.

I guess the other problem is that she is pretty much the only person who is kind to me, and who believes in me but I also know that that's not real and will stop once we have had our maximum sessions and I she will just move onto the next person on the list and I will be left to deal with it on my own.

I hate this, I wish I'd never started it, or that she had been useless and so I wouldn't have cared that we only have a limited number of sessions but now I just feel more alone and hopeless than ever