Thread: Massive discard
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Old Sep 18, 2020, 06:52 PM
Anonymous43372
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MisterPaul View Post
You may be right but I just don't get it. I've never spoken about my relationships because they were either very shallow or, most of the time, they ceased to exist. I’ve been skipping it in conversations while those "NPD's poor friends" were gapping all day long about their achievements in that area. I did not talk about mine because I have an empathy problem and things usually go bad quickly because of it. However, I met some success but again, I’ve chosen not to mention it.

And now when things go very well for me in life, my friends burst out with assumption I have no relationships and start pointing fingers, brimming with useless advices. Does it sound fair to you?
Your "friends" sound very "fair weather" to me. Genuine friends accept us for 100% who we are, and they know they are not entitled to tell us how to live our lives.

If you have to cut out some of your "fair weather friends" then you can either cut them off could turkey, or do the slow fade and just not respond as regularly to their communication as you normally would.

And please reframe your "I have an empathy problem" statement. Why is being empathetic a problem? It is not a problem. That's who you are. If people take advantage of your good nature, they are not good people. Obviously. Learn to be more self-protective if you can. Just learn to say "no" more.

Congrats on your career success and I hope that continues to grow for you. As far as improving your social life goes; just change who you hang out with. Change HOW you disclose or share information to these people (be more selective with what you share and with whom you share it to).

I go in waves with my social life. Sometimes I have loads of people to hang out with. Then I go through a dry spell for a few years where I can't stand to be around people and am nomadic and do my own thing. I love being alone. I'm not afraid to be alone. Sometimes I feel lonely, but the older I get, the less I feel the desire to "fake it" socially. Now, my go-to phrase with people is, "take me as I am, or f--- off." Said more eloquently and not as confrontationally, of course. But, that's my general attitude these days. I don't suffer fools as much as I used to.

My advice to you: be yourself. Develop a thicker skin. Stop letting people take advantage of your good nature. And do not change yourself for anyone. Let the "fair weather friends" go. The world is overpopulated, so there are always new opportunities to regrow your social circle with people who genuinely support and respect you for who you are. Just my opinionated two cents.
Thanks for this!
RoxanneToto