I came across an old photo album. My son was a newborn. I could see my depression in the photos, untreated. He's been gone 10 years. Out of my life 12 years. I lost him due to crazy. They made me sign away my rights he committed suicide two years later. I shouldn't have signed but was too crazy to handle an Adhd, odd son. No one would take him.

Mom thought she could later but i told her he was too difficult. And now he's gone permanently. He would be 25. I made a lot of bad decisions. He needed love and i didn't give it to him. I just saw how dumb i was looking at those photos.

I should have gotten treated for depression. I'd still be married. I wouldn't have watched the demise of my only son. My life is miserable. I have made bad choice after bad choice.

I don't think i know how to make a good decision.