Before the diagnosis I was extremely self-destructive, I was not able to appreciate any success of mine unless others approved it. And most of people, especially other males, embraced those doubts of mine for entertainment or, I don’t know, boosting their own self-esteem?

Once I noticed multiple behavioral patterns of a book example of a covert NPD I finally got some control over myself. The unfortunate fact is that I can’t change the past, you know, being a drop-out with little social skills and anxiety due to hypersensitivity to criticisms, so right now the only way I see it is to discard anyone who would point fingers at me and start something new with people who don’t know me. The good side of being a narc is that once you draw a thought in your mind picturing someone is thinking less of you because of your weakness, you can discard that person in the blink of an eye with no regrets. When it comes to new people obviously the priority would be not to manipulate, lie, and wear a mask as I used to. I failed to do that for the moment.