Thread: Massive discard
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Old Sep 20, 2020, 09:36 AM
Molinit Molinit is offline
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Member Since: Nov 2015
Location: Michigan
Posts: 875
Quote:
Originally Posted by MisterPaul View Post
Before the diagnosis I was extremely self-destructive, I was not able to appreciate any success of mine unless others approved it. And most of people, especially other males, embraced those doubts of mine for entertainment or, I don’t know, boosting their own self-esteem?

Once I noticed multiple behavioral patterns of a book example of a covert NPD I finally got some control over myself. The unfortunate fact is that I can’t change the past, you know, being a drop-out with little social skills and anxiety due to hypersensitivity to criticisms, so right now the only way I see it is to discard anyone who would point fingers at me and start something new with people who don’t know me. The good side of being a narc is that once you draw a thought in your mind picturing someone is thinking less of you because of your weakness, you can discard that person in the blink of an eye with no regrets. When it comes to new people obviously the priority would be not to manipulate, lie, and wear a mask as I used to. I failed to do that for the moment.
FYI a "covert" narcissist used to be called a "malignant" narcissist, did you know that? What positive do you see in the word malignant?

So you went from self-destruction to cultivating the traits of a narcissist. Two extremes. Still unhealthy. Perhaps one day your goal will be to dampen the narcissism down to a level where you can have a fulfilling two-way relationship. Will take therapy and lots of work.
Thanks for this!
RoxanneToto, sarahsweets