Hi everyone.
So im kind of worried because i think im starting to develop an eating disorder.. well honestly other people say i am and they've put the idea in my head. Anyways this all started basically because i just wanted to lose like 25-30 lbs but i want to lose the weight quickly. So for the past month ive been eating as little as possible. I've also been doing a lot of cardio, around 2 hours a day of biking. even in the rain, ill go no matter what.
Whenever i eat something, even if it's just an apple i feel like ***** and wish i could take it back. ive tried throwing up but chickened out =P. on a good day ill have fewer than 1000 cals. and ideally i try to have around 6-700 but there are some days where i literally eat nothing but ill pretend to so those around me wont freak out.
to be honest i do have incredibly low self-esteem and all that, but i dont think i have an eating disorder, i'm just trying to lose some weight to improve myself (or atleast to improve how i see myself) and this seems to be a fast way to do it. I've lost about 15 lbs this month from 163ish. btw, i'm obsessed with calories and weighing myself now.. and i hate when i gain a lbs or 2. i've gained a lb since yesterday so i had an apple this morning and i'm gonna try not to have anything else today. also im a guy which might be weird, i dont know if its normal for guys to be like this. oh and my question is, does this seem like the begginings of an eating disorder?? cause i really think it's nothing big and that im trying to lose some weight and then ill be fine.