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I won't tell her I am disappointed of course because I know she struggles enough already.
I don't know how much any of you know about her back story but in short-
When she turned 18 as a senior she ran away. It was devastating and she was staying with this girl and her mom partying. At one point she broke into the house because we changed the lock codes because we knew she was on some sort of substance. She came home, went to rehab and was in sober living. Barely graduated. She slowly started to repair the damage. She got together with a boyfriend, left sober living. She told us she was pregnant, lost the baby. She got pregnant again. Now I have a grandson. I love him to death but she deliberately made these choices. Over the last two years she has had so many jobs that she has lost that I cant keep count. Thank god they live five minutes away.
Our local pharmacy was hiring and I sent her the info. She got the job and even bargained for higher pay. She has had issues with her birth control implant like throwing up, etc. She is due to get it removed on the 28th and has started something else. She had a small fever at one of her obgyn visits and the pharmacy set her up with a covid test as protocol so she wasnt working while waiting for the results. I knew she didnt have covid.
Her results were negative. She told me she was still throwing up all the time and wanted to go to the ER. So her manager told her to go on Sunday. I went with her. They did some tests and gave her some IV meds and said she should follow up with a GI doc.
Made sense to me.
All this time in my gut I knew she was just hoping for a reason not to work. This goes beyond not wanting to leave her child. She has always taken jobs and left, quit or been fired.
This is a local family business and they were willing to work with her. I was watching the baby so she had childcare and it was only part time. The two of them are always broke so they needed this money.
She called out yesterday even though the hospital only gave her a note for Sunday night.
I called her and asked her what she was planning on doing and she hemmed and hawed about things. I told her it sounded like she had already come to a decision about working,
I told her that she shouldnt jerk them around and she should let them know if she wouldnt be able to work. That it was time to put on her big girl pants and own her decision even if it was uncomfortable.
She is looking for a reason to be ill, I dont understand it.
I feel like maybe I set a bad example for her by not working most of her life. I am on disability and once I had my third child who is 17 now I couldnt afford child care anyway. I am trying to get back into the workforce.
I really thought she would manage this time. She didnt have to worry about who was watching the baby, We loaned her money and helped her get a car. The boyfriend is working, (he left wayfair and made his pt job of selling cars his ft job which i think is a bad idea but oh well)
I love her and I do not understand why she so easily screws people over. This job was perfect. Perfect hours and 2 minutes from both of our houses. I know it isnt my life but it is my grandson's life. If this boyfriend loses his job they will have nothing. They are always barely making it.
I am just venting really. I feel like we are always waiting for a catastrophe with her. Waiting for the other shoe to drop. When things are good its like i worry because it never lasts. I know there is nothing I can do. I know she has to live with her choices, but there is a baby involved now. Now its not so much about tough love because of my grandson.
When she ran away and put us through all that nonsense we went to family therapy. I had to grieve like she died. She has tried to earn our trust again but its like she does good and takes steps backwards- then forwards a little- then backwards again. I hate feeling this way about her but I cant help it. She is in therapy but I wonder what she is working on. She is clean but doesnt act sober. Those of you in recovery will know what I mean. I just texted the family therapist and asked for a session because I have two other kids and a husband who deserve my time too. Thanks for listening everyone.
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"I carried a watermelon?"
President of the no F's given society.
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