Sorry you have to go through this.

Do you have someone to talk to? A therapist, doctor, friend etc. ?
This sure helped me sometimes when I was in a whirlwind and felt paralyzed at the same time and nearly ended up quitting my job and canceling other vital things like that.
A professional might even be able to help you find answers to all those questions and may help you determine if a jobchange can help you.
At least my therapist helps me sort through these kind of questions so that they don't crush me under them. He also supported me through the process of searching for another job which was soul crushing for me for various reasons.
Maybe you could find help like that so you don't have to fight alone.
Because you're not😊
Sure hope posting showed this and gave you some support.
Feel hugged