I don't know if what I am about to say will be helpful, but here goes...

You sound overwhelmed by expectations around you. Maybe this is other people or maybe some of it is within yourself. First of all I would advise you take those expectations down a notch.

There are some days where just getting through the day is enough - that is actually an achievement when you are struggling. Kudos for that. Just posting here and asking for advice is a big achievement.

What makes you feel good? Some people find connection with nature helps, the sounds of trees in the wind, bird song, water. This helps me de-stress.

Doing what feels good and gives you peace can be very helpful.