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I picked up my new glasses today and I like them, can see extremely well, and hoping the "prism lens" cuts down on the med side-effect of blurry vision when my eyes are fatigued.
That said, my husband was being a fu*k in general. I've had to be dependent on him since my surgery. I am able to do more and more every week, but I still cannot drive. He's been extremely helpful overall; we simply can't be together every day, day after day. After so many days it's as though 2 best friends turn into fire and oil.
He started with his damned anti-vax CRAP tonight...such BS...he was certainly not involved when our kids were vaccinated (just as they should have been); it's that he loves a controversy. And I don't. My system starts to fall apart when he raises his voice and gets all emotional. All the years of roller-coaster riding has taken it's toll. I'm working so effing hard in therapy, and on all these meds, to keep myself stable.
It doesn't take but a scratch to my surface for me to come unglued. And he either doesn't notice, or doesn't give a shite. It's an awful, awful feeling to be literally shaking all over, and to fear going off the deep - either manic or depressed - I just wanted him to leave, go home. Leave me alone with my cats and leave me in peace.
Thank the universe a baseball game came on and distracted his azz for an hour, then he left to go home. Bliss. Heaven. I wish I had a kombucha to drink with my meds to mellow me out, stop my shaking, and just let me be.
I wish I didn't have to see him tomorrow, but he has to bring me groceries. Gotta read some stuff from therapy, do some relaxation, breathe, and take an overdose (KIDDING).
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