Thank you all so much! I really appreciate you taking the time to reply and I am thankful for this space. Not having this support would have made things much harder.

I think I need to be a little kinder to video sessions and build a comforting routine around them. Maybe wear the perfume I used to wear to in person sessions; maybe make an effort to dress up a little, as I used to. Maybe making myself a nice tea beforehand, and lighting some fairy lights or candles.

I think my main problem comes from the anxiety making this seem like a permanent change. I’m mourning for what was before as if it won’t come back. But I’m pretty sure my T will return to face to face when it is safer. He told me so numerous times. My life would be so much easier right now if I could accept video sessions as a temporary thing and enjoy them for what they are, as opposed to being suddenly so resistant. I’m so attached to T that being in the room with him for an hour was pretty much the highlight of my week. I hate how much my access to him has been reduced. But I have to keep on breathing and telL myself, this is not the end. This is just a minor inconvenience that will go away at some point.

Thank you once again for your support and your suggestions!