Nearly started crying about two hours ago. I felt like **** mentally when I woke up and I tried to suck it up for work but my student is in rare form today. Verbal abuse, defiance, threats....just before lunch break he began cursing at me and threatening me. Seriously, any other day, any other time, I’m fine with it. I don’t even care. I just chalk it up to the kid’s dx and move on. But I left for lunch and I was nearly in tears. I thought spending a half hour by myself would reset some but no, I only felt worse when my break was up. I truly felt like I was going to break down in a crying heap if I had to face him again.

Thankfully, my team is very supportive. I went straight to the floor supervisor and told her I absolutely cannot handle him for the rest of the day. Switch me out, PLEASE. She took me to our assistant director and explained, and the assistant director made some staff changes so I could spend the rest of the day away from him. It’s nearly the end of school now, and I managed to survive.

The depression is not abating yet, but it’s only been four days. It feels like forever though. It’s only intensifying. Starting to get the images here and there. Definitely SH urges.