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guy1111
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Member Since Apr 2018
Location: US
Posts: 422
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Default Sep 23, 2020 at 10:56 PM
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Open Eyes View Post
That is good that you had that break through in last night's session. It was also good that this therapist (in front of your wife) talked about how you slip into being codependent, something both of you need to realize. Your wife needs to understand how some of her behaviors can hurt you where you distance and stay quiet when instead you need to communicate with her when she IS behaving selfishly.
Ya, it was good for me to hear that. It humbled me a little, because I thought I was so smart and in control by just letting her blow all her steam and then talking calmly to her and asking if there is anything I can do to help. While it is good to be able to remain calm and be understanding in a heated situation, when she keeps doing it over and over I should be stepping in with some force behind my voice and tell her to stop it! Even if someone isn't directing a tantrum at you, you have to step in at some point and tell them to knock it off. It makes sense, like, I wouldn't allow a child to keep behaving this way. Maybe once or twice on the playground to let out some steam, but repeatedly in the house. No way!

I think I'll end this thread. Thanks everyone!!!
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