Hello GrowingUpAtLast: I see this is your first post here on PC. Welcome to Psych Central.

At the end of your post you asked if anyone could point you in the right direction regarding "what these are symptoms of". I presume by this you meant the behaviors your mother displays. I'm not a mental health professional. Plus we here on PC cannot offer mental health diagnoses. However, I suppose the first thing that would come to mind would be narcissism. But, of course, this is simply a lay-person's take on what you wrote. However here are links to 5 articles, from Psych Central's archives, on the subject of the narcissistic mother plus a link to a blog on the knotted mother / daughter relationship which will have some relevant articles within it:

The Narcissistic Mother: One of the Most Frightening of All Personalities

Narcissistic Mothers

5 (Subtle) Signs Your Mother Is a Covert Narcissist

Behind the Mask: What the 'Good Daughter' of the Narcissistic Mother Would Tell You if She Could

Narcissistic Mothers: The Long-Term Effects on Their Daughters

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/knotted/

I hope you find PC to be of benefit.