Still around, I guess. I haven't done much but today my mood has been low, with bouts of anger. Not real anger but mild annoyance is triggering an out-of-proportion response at times. I don't know what I am so frustrated with. This is my life. Ever realize you're doing something odd and while there is probably no subconscious reason behind it you can tie two things together? Let me explain -- Since I've been here, I've yet to sleep under the covers in my bed. A sign perhaps I don't feel I should be here? haha -- I'm over thinking it, but it is kinda odd I still haven't gotten around to just sleeping under the covers.

I know this will negate everything I say and suddenly I have a label that nothing I feel or think is valid but I haven't been taking my meds for a long while now. I still haven't found the right ones. In my experience I always feel crappy but this way it's without side effects and while not ideal and not smart to stop like that, I'm not spiraling out of control. I'm level headed enough. I just don't know what to do right now. Just suffer through these days and try to force a plan to live life. At least until I feel I am "even steven" with everyone I owe. What the hell do I know?

Anyway, just ranting -- no need to lecture me about meds or how stupid I am for not applying for SSDI or whatnot. In fact , better you read this message and move on. It's a rant and nothing more.