When around negative individuals like a narcissistic mother who likes to create drama and dish out negatives can lead to this feeling of dread you are describing. This is when you have to learn to create your own psychological boundaries where you make a conscious decision to not buy into any negativity. Also, when it comes to your mother and she starts complaining to you like in the car, your response to her is not to talk to you when she decides to sprew negativity about someone else.

Your needing approval means you are spending too much time around negative critical individuals. It's like trudging in a desert and needing a drink of water badly. And you can never get your thirst quenched with a negative person, they are dry and have no idea how to give anything, they are simply takers.