View Single Post
 
Old Sep 26, 2020, 09:46 AM
Blueish Blueish is offline
Junior Member
 
Member Since: Feb 2016
Location: Manitoba
Posts: 10
Quote:
Originally Posted by Have Hope View Post
I hate to say it, but I need to play devil's advocate. I just wonder if your friend is hiding the truth from you. IF their relationship was loving and healthy as he claims, then there would be no reason why she would abandon her own family, unless he had hurt her somehow. Perhaps he was abusive or severely toxic? How much do you really know of your friend? Abusers will hide their abuse from their friends and will lie to their friends. It just doesn't make any sense unless something drastic happened between them that is not telling you about. Something to think about at least.

Have Hope, just want to mention that having belonged to parent groups of estranged adult children, most of us do not share with anyone the fact that we are estranged from our Adult Children due to the judgement that surrounds it. For this who have not been suddenly and without explanation cut off from our adult children and usually our beloved grandchildren also, it must be difficult to understand how prevalent it is in our society. There are usually 3 common denominators in this tragedy. 1) an alienating former spouse 2) a spouse of the adult child wanting to interfere in the adult / child relationship 3 or mystery no contact. If there is a problem , issue it isn't shared with the stunned/heartbroken parent. Or it's something silly like " too negative " or "too sensitive" etc which should be able to be discussed and if necessary "agree to disagree" in order to maintain the relationship where most have done the usual sacrifices parents do raising children. The long talks when they are sad teens are long forgotten, the nights walking the floors with them when they are ill, the driving them to this or that club or sports event, band performances , basketball games , never missing a one , not remembered. Working double shifts to put them through college so that they can be the successful adult they say they are today. All forgotten. The babysitting of the children when they go to their high power jobs. No consideration. In fact , they suddenly feel that you are not good enough to care for the children. The children who ache to be with nanny and grampy. Nope , no can do. They know that the best way to "punish" their parents is to with hold the kids. The kids are a collateral damage they are willing to hurt as long as you the parent is hurting worse. Yes some of this is my story, but if you were estranged and belonged to one of the many online groups you would see how typical it is.
Hugs from:
*Beth*, Open Eyes
Thanks for this!
*Beth*, Open Eyes