((((((((((((((((sweetCrusader)))))))))))))))))

so sorry you're feeling so bad - wish I could help you

You are in the grip of this illness right now, and even though its so bad, you are still posting here and reaching out to those who will care and try to understand - that's such a positive thing to do.

I believe that even when we are at rock bottom there is a tiny little bit of hope inside - it feels to me that it is that part of you which is posting. That bit can be as tiny as a speck of dust - but it is there, it is hanging in there and if it hangs in long enough and stays reaching out to ppl who care, things can start to change.

That little bit of you is actually stronger than depression but that horrible depression can make us feel so bad it almost brainwashes us and our abilities.

Easy for me to say, cos I am not in its grip today - I wouldn't believe all I have just said when I am in its grip.
That's how it gets you and although it is different for all of us, I hope you can take some comfort that theres someone all those miles away in England who offers you her care and hope.......me !

((((((((((((((SweetCrusader))))))))))))))))