So sorry for not being around much, now that im back. I need to vent and get support.

Tomorrow will be 3 years since my ex-t did something that I am still feeling hurt and angry over. At that time in my life alcohol and relapses where still a thing for me. I walked into my session with my journal and he dropped a ultamatium on me that he could no longer see me without me going to a womens AA and get a sponsor, the following week the addiction counsellor dropped me too. I did finally go to AA meetings, couple months later Nov 20th 2017 i got sober with my husband no relapses. That was the start of my ex-t doing more damage then good for 18 months i made no progress with him it was tough go. I stayed with him til he retired. I have had night mares of him and closing my file for a couples weeks now. My mood is low most of the day.

I have a good therapist now and finally making progress in my life. It's hard work but worth it. I just feel angry at my ex-t and afraid again that I could be hurt all over again. I did not have these intense emotions a couple weeks ago when i last saw my therapist and my mood was not as bad. I keep track of my moods for me and my therapist because i have so much difficulty telling her how I have been. Also i just don't like talking bad about someone either. I just wish my mind could erase the hurt that ex t and addiction counsellor caused me. They also ingored allot of my trauma, and grief. Lots of blaming me and not taking me very serious on lots of things. Neglect.


This therapist i see is helping me see what is healthy in a theraputic relationship that i only have experienced in high school, and college. I have had some really bad unethical therapists in my past and last session we got into it a bit. I am thankful she allows me to tell her things and her honesty, asking me questions a little has helped with a christian counsellor who i saw before this ex-t. Sorry for venting and the long post