I think I may have gotten to acceptance over leaving my past T. Even with her flaws she had memories that I lost from ECT and now I feel like part of me is gone forever. Even though I didn’t want to leave here I finally realized that I associate her with all the bad things that have happened to me over the last 6 years. So I had to let her go so that I can try to not having a constant reminder of the worst years of my life. It has been 6 months since I last saw her but I don’t feel that crushing need to see her like I used to. Still working on finding a new one and I have to stop trying to compare them to my old T. My worry is every place I call either has a wait list or I get Ts that only have 1 or 2 years experience. That worries me that they won’t be able to handle me.