in regards to this subject, i feel i am, and have been, very open minded to the concept of healing therapeutic touch in therapy. it always has been quite appealing to me and i consider it as probably being one of the most important and healing aspects of my many years of therapy with my ex-T. safe physical touch was always a part of my therapy, which included end of session hugs, hand holding, or a gentle touch on my should, back or knee at times. we clearly discussed the topic of touch in the first few weeks of starting therapy with my T. at first he was a bit hesitant due to my CSA history and he shared that his supervisor advised him against it. i was quite hurt and shocked by his supers advice and shared my reaction that his supers response made me feel tainted and it reinforced my belief that i was unworthy of having access to one of the most basic of human needs....safe, compassionate and loving touch, just like my mother refused to me. i 100% believe that my ex-Ts supervisor's 'hands off' belief was not only incorrect but was an incredibly damaging and shameful non- therapeutic approach to treating CSA survivors.

it was the safe touch in therapy, in conjunction to the emotional intimacy i was coming to experience with the help of my T that encouraged me to become more open to giving, receiving, and experiencing the love and intimacy with my husband. it was the catalyst that has brought us closer like nothing else ever has. due to that closeness, and becoming secure in the relationship with my husband, we have been able to explore intimately in ways that many people never will. i consider all of that exploration to be a significant part of my healing journey. some of this healing has involved sharing our intimate moments with other people within our marriage, twice with a hired sex worker (sex work is legal and a protected industry in my country) and through exploring polyamory/open relationships. probably the most healing and amazing experience has been through exploring sensational touch with my husband while partaking in an mdma assisted therapeutic session.

from reading many of the reactions here to lostislost's topic, i know that what i have shared would seem very far out of the comfort zone for many here. i was once similar in my reaction and fears. but this willingness to even be open to entertaining most of these experiences that i've been quite fortunate to have did not happen spontaneously. it's been over ten years now, slowly working on different aspects since i started this crazy healing journey and this is where i find myself today. i'm content in my life, i feel safe within myself, i'm worthy of loving myself and others, i deeply love my husband, and i'm enjoying many aspects of my life.

i credit much of this to having a therapist in the beginning who was willing to be open and take a chance to explore safe therapeutic touch along with sharing the the intimacy of the therapeutic relationship with me, a once tainted, damaged and unworthy CSA survivor.

so to answer your question, would i do anything like this, work with a trained touch therapist if i had the chance , and that would be a big fat YES from me. i can clearly understand the potential to how significant of a healing opportunity this could be for someone who has been completely starved, especially from the early age of infant hood, from being able to fully experience the safety and security of compassionate embracing human touch. i believe everyone should have the opportunity to experience that, even if they have to pay to access it.