I’m sorry this is happening to you. I completely understand how hard it must be. Sometimes we just want that one person, because that’s who we are attached to and that’s who we believe can make it better. I don’t think you need to believe in the “everything happens for a reason” mentality, but maybe try to hold on to the possibility that you may find a T (in the future, when you’re ready and if you want to) who will be able to be there for you and who will be better suited because they won’t have life circumstances that will take them away for long periods of time. And it’s more than possible that your T will return after a few months and it will all turn out ok, even if you don’t feel that way now. I know how much it sucks to live with that uncertainty and with their impending absence though. I wish I had something more helpful to say.