I don't believe everything happens for a reason, or that there is a purpose for the way things happen. However, I do try to see the silver linings in difficult things whenever I can. For example, I was very sad when my dog died a few years ago after a long and happy life. However, as I hold my current dog, I sometimes think about how if she hadn't died exactly when she did, I would not have wound up with my current dog (there was someone who didn't want him and wanted him gone ASAP). This makes missing her more bearable to me.

Definitely not trying to invalidate your experiences, though. Sometimes there is no silver lining, and nothing good can be attached.

I understand why you're upset. I would be, too. There are really no guarantees in life and things can always change. I'm going to be moving soon, and while I'm hoping I can continue seeing my therapist remotely, I can't know that it will be possible for certain until the time comes. Anticipating a loss is really painful, and it sounds like that's what you're doing. I think that's a protective mechanism, so I wouldn't say I think you should just disregard it and take her intention to come back after 6 months as what will happen with 100% certainty. Personally, I don't do well with disappointment and I understand why expecting everything to go as planned could create more harm for you. But maybe you could try to shift your thinking from she's definitely not coming back to maybe she will and maybe she won't. You just don't know. That would honor your previous experiences and skepticism while avoiding the cognitive distortion or logical fallacy that you can know she's going to do the opposite of what she's planning because other people have failed you in the past.

Of course, then you have to decide what to do with that uncertainty. I know you don't feel up to seeing someone new, and I respect that. I wonder if a support group or even group therapy would be something you'd be open to. Maybe something like that could provide for some of your needs while she's out, and you wouldn't have to do the same type of intense getting to know you stuff that would happen with a new individual therapist. Idk, just an idea.