that's easier said than done. I describe my marriage in my intro, my husband has been unfaithful to me since our wedding wedding day, he is definitely a narcissist, and emotionally abusive. I have kept my relative sanity despite a history predating him of PTSD by working and immersing myself in my children's lives. He has managed to hold us hostage financially through a series of failed business investments, and although I control the finances now with a kid in college and one in daycare there's no extra cash. I have a little set aside for myself but it's not enough, and with the situation with Covid now is not the time to separate. I don't even know if love exists to tell you the truth, I can't stop thinking about this man, and yes it was everything I had ever wanted and still want in a relationship, but circumstances out of our control ended it and here we are. for the past 15 years I have felt numb, passionless, didn't even feel the strong love for my children and family that I used to feel. Then along he comes , after years of my husband making me feel inadequate as a woman, tells me he has saved every picture, every memento, even the stuffed animal I gave him he showed me is still above his bed, and his wife never understood why he wouldn't let their kids touch it. he remembers everything about me, intimately, and I know better than my husband does. We never did have closure, so there's definitely that, but I think I'm just reacting to having someone say he cares, when I haven't had that in so long.
it feels like i'm losing my mind, and feelings and desires I haven't had in as long as I can remember are just out of control. it's so overwhelming I don't know what to do, and I really didn't click with the therapist I saw in February, and now with Covid don't know how to go about finding a different one.