My Support Forums - View Single Post - Bipolar Check-in Thread #50

*Beth* · Sep 28, 2020, 10:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25

I’m absolutely riddled with anxiety. I feel like I can’t breathe every time I’m alone with my thoughts, like trying to fall asleep at night. I don’t know what to do. I’m thinking of calling my pdoc and asking her about it. I’m not sure I want klonopin bc I’m already tired all day from the seroquel. The benzo would add to that. I don’t get a high from klonopin so I’m not nervous about emotional addiction but physical dependency is always possible. But I don’t know what else there is.

I really think work is getting to me. I’m dreading going in tomorrow. I really hope my kid finds something to help him soon. He’s been threatening me and other staff. He’s not that big but he’s stocky so I’m not sure I could safely hold him. I don’t want to give up on him. But at the same time I’m unsure if he’s just testing me or really serious.

I don’t know. All I know is I’m exhausted by the end of the day. I can’t play games with my son. I don’t want to do what my mom did. I want to be better than that.

I have therapy tomorrow too, so I’ll discuss it with her too.

I'm glad you've shared your anxiety and concerns with us. I have tremendous empathy for the child you're working with. That said, I'm wondering at what point Mom decides she knows enough about who her son "really is" and allows him the meds he clearly needs? Also, how much do you have to be endangered (because that's what it is) by the child before boundaries are set by your workplace?

You are entirely correct; your own son deserves a healthy you.

I hope your session tomorrow is productive. Keep us posted

Oh - and regarding the Klonopin...I do have a dependency on it. It was very useful, though, way back when. If I could do it over, I would have taken Klonopin for only a month or two until my anxiety either got better or got worse and needed a different type of med.

Personally, Seroquel never touched my anxiety.