Well, that is a most difficult situation you are in. I would encourage you to keep looking for a therapist. My therapist is doing phone appointments with me during COVID. I would also keep putting money away and start making plans to leave your husband, even if you cannot leave him just now. You can start getting the ball rolling and start planning your exit. This will help you to feel better. I do not encourage you to have an emotional affair with this other man, but I know how hard that may be given that you reconnected and your husband is abusive. It's a tough situation all around. Hugs to you.