hello Weary Panda, I am concerned for you dear. Don't give up on therapy, I had a similar experience. I don't know what to tell you, just as a woman as well for some reason I feel more comfortable speaking to a male therapist, I don't understand why but some of my issues are easier to discuss with a man (that may be a disfunction of mine...)
I hope you are in a safe place. Do you have family you can go to? I imagine you are young, I have a young daughter who struggles with depression, but she is overcoming me it gradually. Please let us know you are ok.