I’m absolutely riddled with anxiety. I feel like I can’t breathe every time I’m alone with my thoughts, like trying to fall asleep at night. I don’t know what to do. I’m thinking of calling my pdoc and asking her about it. I’m not sure I want klonopin bc I’m already tired all day from the seroquel. The benzo would add to that. I don’t get a high from klonopin so I’m not nervous about emotional addiction but physical dependency is always possible. But I don’t know what else there is.

I really think work is getting to me. I’m dreading going in tomorrow. I really hope my kid finds something to help him soon. He’s been threatening me and other staff. He’s not that big but he’s stocky so I’m not sure I could safely hold him. I don’t want to give up on him. But at the same time I’m unsure if he’s just testing me or really serious.

I don’t know. All I know is I’m exhausted by the end of the day. I can’t play games with my son. I don’t want to do what my mom did. I want to be better than that.

I have therapy tomorrow too, so I’ll discuss it with her too.