I had (and still do) a similar experience with meditation of the sort often pushed at IOPs. Many times during groups that focused on it, I literally stormed out of the room. I know that it has value for many, but many is not all. We are unique and have our own set of needs and comforts. It is wrong that some therapists demand patients adopt certain coping tools. There should be a coping "tool box" from which we pick the best for us. I had a similar experience with art therapy, which is a given option in almost all IOPs. At one point I just used a piece of paper to write, instead.

There have been some coping tools that I initially rejected, but then later found value. Breathing techniques and mindfulness exercises are examples. Sometimes the time is just not right for some.