Hello and welcome to Psych Central!

I'm sorry you find yourself in a predicament.

I'm wondering: have you ever heard of the term, codependency? This is what I believe is happening in your relationship. You seem to be codependent with this narcissist. You are willing to put yourself in harm's way in order to help "fix" them and "heal" them. That is the definition of codependency. The problem is you are harming yourself, and that is no good. Also, please know that a narcissist rarely will admit to being a narcissist. They are often the most difficult patient to treat in therapy because they can do no wrong and they see everyone else as having a problem, not themselves.

So you are harming yourself and you are wasting your precious energy and heart on someone who does not believe they need fixing, and most likely, doesn't even want it.

I would get yourself some professional help to help you through this. I suggest talking to a therapist who can help you to understand this complex dynamic further - and to help you understand that your own actions are in fact, hurting you even more.