My kid isn't even HERE today and I’m anxious as hell. Like full on can’t breathe can’t stop my heart sick to my stomach ********. Not all day but a lot of it. I don’t really know what to do. There’s no specific thoughts that go with it though so I can’t even do like CBT or anything to confront the negative thinking.

Last night was horrible. I really felt like I was dying. I knew I wasn’t so I didn’t go to the ER but I sure felt like going just to beg for a benzo. I almost called a psych emergency line but then I realized the only thing that would be acceptable for me would be an emergency prescription for a benzo, but how tf was I supposed to pick it up? My dumbass pharmacy would be SURE to **** up the prescription.

I don’t know what to do! It’s not bad enough to take time off, but I really feel like I’m losing it.