You answered your own post. Take your meds. It all comes down to the value stream. Alcohol. Drugs. Sex. Valuable in their own right, but it is momentary and fleeting and each of those things also carries negative value so the net result is poor.

Your children, husband and job comparatively carry infinitely more value than a few feel good moments and thrills. You already know all of this. You need help from a dual diagnosis provider. Now do what it is you already know you need to do and go get that help. Do not tear your family apart. It is so hard to build that back and it is such an abuse of love. The damage to your children is lasting and detrimental. Just don't do it. Take your meds. Get clean. The feel good vibes can come from that path too.