Thank you all! You gave me a lot to think about and I have decided I want to live. And I want to keep all the good things in my life too.

I am going to talk to my GP today and ask to go on the abilify injection and see if i can take all the rest of my meds in the morning. At the very least I would then be on an AP and if I can manage it the rest of my meds too.

I find I dont take my night meds often and especially when drinking but i am not sure i am ready to give up the alcohol just yet.