Okay, first...deep breath in and now exhale, again, deep breath in and now exhale. Now sweetie, I want you to know that I feel for you so deeply right now. Your feelings...all of them...are completely understandable. And perhaps you can't cry because your *psyche* is working overtime right now to protect you from the intensity of the pain that must be dwelling inside you. It's obvious you love your sister very much (and I say that intentionally in the present tense because it never goes away just because the person is gone).

It's funny how the things we least expect bring us to our knees. Like you said, it's not like you didn't know this anniversary was approaching...you thought you were prepared...BAM!!! you get knocked on your *** wondering "what the f@%*? How did that happen?" It's okay girl, you reached out for help and you're gonna get it. I'm proud of you, I'm sure that wasn't easy. I do hope that you get to go home early and have some peace. Do you have some close friends you can call on? Might I also suggest that you connect with people who actually knew your sister....helps with the relatability factor. Very important. But even if we are all you have....know that I'm here for you and you can always PM me if you need to discuss more privately. Hang in there kiddo. TgrsPurr.