Hi everyone, I'm Cindy

I am new to psych central and the reason I joined is because according to psych central it may be beneficial for me to be a part of some community therapy. Who knows. So, its been hard for me to find much on double depression and i've been wanting to write a research paper on it (actually its due tmrw-but anyone with any kind of depression knows how that is-no motivation). I am seeing a psychiatrist/therapist and she's great, I just hope she can help me overcome my issues (sexually assaulted as child of 4yrs-no penetration) or reinstate a "normal" set of mind into my life. By the way, I am taking the Lamyctal starter pack in the day and Seroquil at night, for my intrusive thoughts. I hope I don't scare anyone off, because of my openness, I've just said my story so many times to so many therapists, psychiatrists and ex-boyfriends, it gets easier every time.

I constantly feel like time is running out. Like my ovaries are going to disappear or something, before I have the chance to be successful in any career (haven't quite decided which-interior design? child psychology?). And I refuse to bring a child into this world without having the capability to give them everything they need in life to be successful both spiritually and worldly. Yet, I feel sooo handicapped! And thats exactly what I want to write my paper about-how people with depression and other such disorders may have a need for not only additional help in school (and work), but a plan of action. What I mean by plan of action is something beyond "accomodations" as they call it in many universities, which are hard to regulate. For example, I was allowed (I failed out of a modern ivy league university) extended time to turn in hmwk, excused absences, excused tardiness, and I think that was it. The problem is that its hard to regulate it, and i'm not particularly honest, especially when it comes to getting a good grade. Also, many of my professors refused to listen to the letter they received from me on behalf of the head of the accomodations department for people like me. And like i'm gonna fight anything, i'm depressed and feeling hopeless-me fighting for my accomodations was not going to happen. Especially when people like the director of freshman architecture (now director of the school of architecture) tells you that you basically have no place here. Hell, she told my best friend to "go back to Puerto Rico". Lucky for her she's not as sensitive as me and graduated, a year late, but she graduated! (From one of two of the toughest majors in the university!) There has to be another solution besides accomodations, didn't God supposedly put problems in my way so I could figure them out?

To prevent this introduction turned bibliography from getting any longer, I conclude with asking someone to get back to me, especially if they know something about double depression, or any plan of action for succeeding in school when you have depression. Especially for someone who won't settle on a mediocre education, or a mediocre life, not that theres anything wrong with that. sigh.

Thanks!