Down, you have been my friend. Can I speak with you about the niceness code from my perception? I see crap in the rest of the world all day long. I see torture and suffering and I feel tortured and suffering. I fight against systems that forget that "the system" was established for eachother. There are things I hate here. But I answer with a loving heart because that is the world I want. I was once very militant in my views and fought a hard fight. It just ain't in me anymore. So I approach things slowly and intentionally. I get more accomplished I think. I don't know. I know that when people here have frustration and dispute it scares me. I want to be in a place where we can all be our best selves, express ourselves and not fear rejection. I don't want you to go. I know I have not been around a lot lately. I am sorry for that. I get frustrated about the same crap as you at times. But in order for ME to live I have to step away and do what I can in my small world. I wish I were a buddhist, to accept the suffering and still go about making change in ourselves and daily lives. I can tell you that love does make a difference. That solar and wind is taking off, that the authorities in my state are bullies with their heads up their butts and will retaliate if one disagrees publically. It has been the focus of my therapy off and on forever. Isolated guy feeling that it is cause he is him that he gets "different" replies then he gets. It really ain't always about us. Each of us struggle. I want to love others as I would like to be loved. You are a kindred spirit even if you don't know it. I care and care deeply. I am sorry that it feels as though you are treading water but then, that means your staying alive and actually treading water is about one of my most favorite things. You can p.m. me anytime. I am sorry I have not been here.