Quote:
Originally Posted by comrademoomoo
This sounds tough and I can relate to elements of it. My therapist is often defensive and it is very distracting in the work and destructive to our relationship. Once she becomes defensive, she loses me and is only concerned with herself. It's painful. Of course, I frequently attack her to protect myself so in many ways we create perfect storms.
It sounds to me that the confrontation itself is less painful for you than her inability to respond sensitively. If she had responded carefully, it seems possible that you would not be thinking of the interaction in terms of "confrontation", but maybe in terms of resolution or acceptance.
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Hi Comrademoomoo. I think you put it exactly into words - when a T becomes defensive they lose you, and are focusing on themselves. I don't think that my T realised how much I trusted and respected her and that everything that I said came from a position of trust and respect, and that I expected there to be times when we didn't connect over something and that I considered that her missing what I needed was all part of it and that me expressing how I felt to her was part of it. I don't know if she felt attacked and I also wonder if I was in some way attacking her because I felt belittled by the relationship on one particular day. However I also think that sometimes there can be an over analysis of the client's actions and their simple actions (or in this case a protest about what my T did) come to be viewed as disordered, and the client therefore comes to be seen as disordered.