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Originally Posted by TeaVicar?
This is not an excuse but I wonder what was going on in her private life at the time. I remember a dreadful year in therapy, I had lots of negative feelings towards him and really struggled with any changes in consistency or continuity. We'd had a couple of bad ruptures regarding breaks and inconsistencies and he was very deflective about them. I'm quite sure he had other stuff going on that affected him and how he worked with me. I stayed. We got through it somehow and things managed to turn a corner about 2 years ago, in that I was able to tolerate breaks and mistakes a bit better. It was gradual though.
Early neglect is so difficult because we're starting from a point of absolutely no trust and an expectation of always eventually being let down. What did your therapist say? Can you find a new one? Perhaps a male therapist would work better. Wishing you all the good luck. x
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Hi Tea Vicar. I think that my T possibly has found the Covid situation difficult, I think this may have affected our relationship. Looking back I wish I could have tolerated her mistakes better. While I was seeing her, whenever difficult emotions got triggered, I developed bad back pain. When I stopped going my back seized up, and I'm now in a lot of pain, which I'm having treatment for. I don't think I can go back to see her because of my back pain, this didn't happen with my previous therapists. I'd like to try another therapist, but not now, maybe in a year or so, I've got to sort my back out first. I'm hoping that if I go again I could deal with this type of thing better, but I'm also afraid of the emotions that come up and how they affect me.