I am living proof of this because of my inability to forgive myself for the past, and so it bubbles up to the surface. The constant tension of not wanting to forgive oneself, I believe, warps everything through the lens of ego so that when it comes out, when we try to act in a way that is "good," it comes out stained by taint of that self-hatred. We hang onto such hatred, I believe, as a way to protect ourselves from the criticism of others, as though we try to preemptively punish ourselves and thereby avoid social embarrassment for evil deeds we recognize in our past.