I was married to a narcissist for 9 years, separated 2017, divorced 2019. The hardest part was not having a partner I could rely on: any and all weaknesses or attempts at honest communication were held against me.

I won’t be the first to say this: divorcing a narcissist is difficult because it does the worst thing possible to a narcissist: takes away their control. It’s difficult, dangerous (you risk a lot of anger—and a couple of torn shirts) and takes a while but it’s worth it for yourself and your kids.

things that helped me:
1. read, post, think, plan—Psych Central is a good resource, also, Power: Surviving and Thriving After Natcissistic Abuse by S. Arabi (I’m sure there are other books—that was just the one I read)
2. do not try and change your partner with what you find—if your partner is really a natcissist whatever you say will be used against you. Never mention the word “narcissist” to your partner. A narcissist hates being exposed and having power taken away, so you have to get stronger quietly and fo this long-term on your own.
3. For safety, log out of Psych Central and erase your history; kerp your password only in your mind.
4. start thinking about who you can rely on—family, friends, anyone—in the long term

Keep the faith (not sure which faith, just any faith!)