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Have Hope
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Default Oct 05, 2020 at 01:17 PM
 
I would drop the idea and become real first. My suggestion is to continue working on this in therapy before you start dating. Dating SHOULD involve (ideally) being your most authentic self. That being said, SO many people don't do this.

Dating does also involve putting your best foot forward -- but does that have to involve lies, a false facade, and whatnot? NO. It can mean putting out there your best traits for someone to see, but in a genuine fashion.

As far as motives go - the true motives should be: allowing your date to see and know what you're interested in, what your values are, what you care about, what your passions are, and who you are generally speaking.

Every guy I've known though wants to impress their date. What is MOST impressive is how he treats his date, how he treats the waiter at dinner and how his manners are, in my opinion. NOT what he does for a living, and nothing big. Just how does he treat ME and how does he treat other people.

I'm going on, but from a female perspective. Don't let the bad motives motivate you -- let authenticity motivate you instead.

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Thanks for this!
Fuzzybear, RoxanneToto