You should be allowed to have an opinion without him punishing you for it. I do think a lot of men don’t see things as sexist in the same way as many women - it’s not always right, though. Do you think he’d have shown you the video if it had been a male driver?
Unfortunately, abuse tends to be a cycle and “good times” are part of it, not actually the person changing into someone better behaved. He knows if he were abusive all the time, you wouldn’t stay. To become non-abusive would require years of therapy and him wanting to change enough to make it work. I’m really sorry, I understand why you’d want to think he was better, but truth is he’s just going to put a lid on it for a while.