Quote:
Originally Posted by RoxanneToto
You should be allowed to have an opinion without him punishing you for it. I do think a lot of men don’t see things as sexist in the same way as many women - it’s not always right, though. Do you think he’d have shown you the video if it had been a male driver?
Unfortunately, abuse tends to be a cycle and “good times” are part of it, not actually the person changing into someone better behaved. He knows if he were abusive all the time, you wouldn’t stay. To become non-abusive would require years of therapy and him wanting to change enough to make it work. I’m really sorry, I understand why you’d want to think he was better, but truth is he’s just going to put a lid on it for a while.
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He probably would have shown it to me if it had been a male, is my guess. But yeah, I agree that he didn't need to punish me, though I do see that he was hurt and was showing his hurt.
I have worried that his changed behavior is just manipulation on his part. I disagree that someone cannot improve or change. He has shown he truly wants to make these important changes. I also don't want to be negative and think that it's just part of the cycle of abuse - I'd like to think that he's broken the cycle, yet as I mentioned, a small part of me is still somewhat skeptical and suspicious.
I'm trying overall to be more positive than negative, but it's not easy given the history.