hi hi hi so i have very lately have been feeling very very happy . but i think i have been feeling too happy right? and the manic test said i should talk to a therapist so i only have to wait till this thrusday to talk to her again yay! but i feel very veryh very crazy right now and i dont feel like myself anymore and im happy that im finally happy and not said anymore but now i feel like im losing my ****ing mind and im scared and i feel like im gonna lose control soon and i hope that i can just be happy again and i really like feeling happy like i have been lately its just that i dont like when i feel like this. like i am going to ****ing snap any minute and im scared and i hope i get better and i hope if i do lose it it happens already so i dont have to just deal with it coming on and off and i hope that very soon i will ****ing snap and never have to worry about it again hahahahaha and i could finally feel safe and happy in my own head hahahhaha i wish that it would just happen already im tired of being afraid of the chaos i just want to embrace it already