Quote:
Originally Posted by bpcyclist
fern, yes. I sent myself emails. I apparently noticed somehow I was speaking for hours in the manner of a joyous 6 yr-old child. Like this: "they sayed I was super sick! They sayed I hadda go to the state hospital for 5 wole years. That makes me so sad! Cuz noone will ever visit you not even our fambly but our best pals Dave and Brett did and they were so nice! It was so awesome! I love my bible so much! It is so awesome! It sayezin the bible if you read the bible and try super hard that the Jesus would love us and make us go to heaven. It's so awesome! And they said I was super sick and the bible said to have faith and jesus would love you. And so I did! And it workef! So awesome! We should get ice cream! I love my bike!"
Hours and hours of pure joy. Like that. Not manic at all. When in the child state, all non-child autobiographical info comes from some mystery, unknown source. Child can eat, pee, wTch tv, eat ice cream, play w cat and be responsible w him. Cannot read or write. Can ride a bike, which I learned at 5. So on scared, you guys. Think I am super sick.
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That is very concerning bpcyclist. I've seen speech patterns like that show from time to time in your writing before. I just assumed you were being playful. Is it possible that you were splitting then as well?
Mostly I'm concerned for your safety in those circumstances if 6 year old you goes outside and interacts with uncaring adults.
Maybe set an hourly alarm on your phone and write down on a paper how its going for the rest of the day? I'm admittedly uneducated on dissociation and I've only ever experienced it briefly, but I was thinking maybe the reminder would help snap you back somehow.
Have you called your pdoc about this? I know you brought him up to speed on the psychosis, but this is a next-level development.
Hang in there. Let us know how we can help.
