Hi, I haven't been diagnosed, but think post traumatic stress is definitely the struggle. I am so sorry to hear what you have had to experience as a child. I can only imagine how horrifying it is to come to terms with that in sobriety. I really believe, because of what you have survived so far, you are an incredibly strong person, and you will find what you need.

I have quite recently stopped acting out badly and self medicating. For me, it's been massively helpful finding a psychotherapist that isn't patronising. He helps me laugh when I'm taking myself too seriously, and helps me get real when I'm minimizing the big issues.

Do you think it's possible that your therapist might be able to offer some insight if you were to bring up your concerns about their ability to help you?

Do you have faith that the therapy itself could help?

It could be worth trying, and if they're not so insightful, and it doesn't help, could it be worth seeking out a better fitting therapist?

I am thinking about prescription medication (I'm stuck, not being able to deal with some pressing issues that are badly triggering), and have many concerns about the effectiveness, side effects, habit formation...on and on. At the end of the day, I think we have to be willing to trust our own judgement (of the professional person), and to trust our knowledge of our own experience to get anywhere with this.

I'm sure a great psychiatrist would give you a well formed professional opinion, address your concerns, and help you make a well informed choice. Most psychiatrists, I expect, would do their best to help you. They could be a bit judgemental, or have their own concerns about prescribing, but I think it's likely they'd want to reduce your risk of harm from self medicating. They would very likely understand (medically) exactly why you have had to do that, too. It's probably worth trying by the sounds of it.

Thanks for your post (and good moving joining PC...it has been for me )

K