Wish there was a hug button on here.... I was going to say thank you but its inappropriate. I hope your as OK as you can be. I know about the close bond with my own Mum, was destroyed when she had her severe stroke in 2017 I miss her so much as although I still have her here we can no longer do things we use to do and it hurts. If I lost her though I would be extremely upset and possibly worse to be honest. A mother's love is like no other.
I hope you can reflect and go into your memories when you need to for comfort. I'm sure your memories are lovely and you can rely on them in need of comfort
Xxx