Quote:
Originally Posted by atisketatasket
After watching you go through the pain of three separate therapists and their boundaries, I agree with him. I don’t say this blamingly, I think you’re just wired in such a way that you really need to know where you stand with someone. Given that, I can think of few relationships more likely to trigger that lack of satisfaction than a therapeutic relationship.
(One reason I stay with Info, to the mystification of many here, is I don’t want anything more from her than being a therapist I see occasionally. Not friendship, not love, not mothering. Nice change from therapists like No. 3.)
If you look for another therapist, I agree with trying a woman. I know you think the transference is mainly paternal/male authority figure, but in a number of your posts here (not just the ones about sex dreams) it comes across as strongly erotic. So I wonder if that doesn’t also play a role in the lack of satisfaction with boundaries. Maybe a woman closer to your age to help avoid maternal transference, with whom you don’t have much in common or whom you wouldn’t want to be friendly with irl. Not that that might not happen anyway, but it might be a better place to start.
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Thanks, @@. I did really like the woman I saw a few times who was Dr. T's backup. But she only sees executives now, changed her practice (that would have been an issue with them being in the same office space anyway--she leases from him--but I figure would be teletherapy for a while).
And I do agree about some of the erotic nature there. I really think some of it is simply attraction (and chemistry, which is kind of a different thing) with Dr. T, not necessarily erotic transference. So, yes, I could see the lack of satisfaction being more difficult because of that for sure.
And that does actually make sense about Info. With Dr. T, his seeming like an arrogant douchebag at first seemed like it would keep the attachment at bay, even if he is attractive. Because I'm not drawn to those types (my former best friend, meanwhile, loved the arrogant lawyer/investment banker types).
So I do feel like maybe I should try a woman first. Maybe not so much the guy who got back to me with the same first name as Dr. T (but a different form as his nickname) and who also looks to be attractive? But he does schema therapy, and that was recommended to me at one point (on here I think?), so...but yeah, trying for female first. There's one who got back to me who focuses on attachment and relational issues, so she seems like a potential good fit. And appears to be younger than me.