Quote:
Originally Posted by nottrustin
If he took a couple of weeks off and said "I need a couple fo weeks off foe my mental health" How would you repond?
I actually told my T about reading that many herapists are struggling right now and wondered how she was doing. zee has a discussion about her self care.
Also, long term T (whom I adored) and I had a conversation after I reached out about something and she mentioned it being something one usually contacts a friend about. I was hurt also but she explained that her job to help a client need her less and less not more. She felt she had let me down.
So you relationship continues with Dr. T do you find yourself needing him more or less??
|
This is a good question. I feel like I'd be crushed and sort of afraid if he was taking a few weeks off. I'd likely see if the T I saw when he was away earlier this year was available, but I'd be really anxious. And that's the sort of thing that makes me realize I need to pull back and/or try another T. Because what if he (or his wife or son) get Covid? Or what if he just suddenly realizes he's at some breaking point and needs a couple weeks off? I need to not be so dependent that I can handle that.
I did ask Dr. T a few months ago about burnout, because I was concerned, and he talked about practicing self-care, that he's OK. But I don't know now---are more and more clients emailing him (when they weren't before) or asking for extra sessions? Plus I know his sport was an outlet...not so sure it is now?
The thing is, in the months before Covid, I'd been doing much better in reaching out to other people, meeting friends for lunch, getting more physical exercise, going to painting events, etc. I felt I was actually getting to a place where I could reduce from two sessions a week to one, though hadn't discussed it with T yet. So I'd definitely become less dependent on him. Then Covid hit, and it was like everything fell apart. In the past...I guess 7 months now, I do feel like I've been needing him more. Where for a while, I felt like I'd been needing him less.
But part of what I said Tuesday was I felt like he'd contributed to the dependence. And he said he knows I have fewer options for support now. So he's trying to give more. But I also feel like that's fostering more dependence. And it's like I don't know how to pull away from that. And he even said Tuesday that he's not sure what the path forward for me is in terms of decreasing dependence. So if *he* doesn't even know...
So in a way, though this may not make a lot of sense (hello, insecure attachment!), it's easier for me to just pull away and try to find some other T. I still intend to see Dr. T Monday...I think? I canceled the potential session tomorrow. Or maybe I cancel Monday, have the intake with the other T Wednesday (and possibly meet with another T early in the week, too) and just wait to see him till next Friday?